Have you ever had a family member or close friend in the hospital? Many of us have or are currently undergoing that hardship.
When my mom needed to be in the hospital for a full week, I knew I wanted to make her feel comfortable there, and let my children be a part of it. Sometimes as parents it is so difficult to know how much to include our children in things like this, but it is up to us as parents since we know our kids best. Some children are very young and cannot handle all the hospital rules. Sometimes the older children and teenagers can handle it a bit better. Many times, it has nothing to do with age, and is all about their personality.
Hospitals tend to bring many people fear and anxiety, no matter the age. Personally, I feel uncomfortable in them, even as an adult. But I have tried to remain calm so that if my children need to come visit someone, or be taken to the hospital themselves, it does not immediately bring about fear and anxiety. I want them to know the hospital is a safe place that helps people.
My mom was in the hospital for a week undergoing a procedure. It’s been a draining process – physically, mentally and emotionally – and I wasn’t even the one in the hospital bed.
I had surgery several years ago and afterwards I couldn’t get up from the bed without assistance. I was very appreciative of everyone around me and put all my efforts into my own recovery. But as a mom, I also spent my time worrying about how my kids were handling the situation. I wondered how they were doing and hoped they weren’t anxious about everything going on. I am a homeschool mom, and worried about schoolwork and getting behind. It is difficult being a mother and having to rest in a bed after surgery. I know my entire family was exhausted, but we were also so well loved by our church, relatives, and friends.
Having a loved one in the hospital is not fun and being in the hospital is no vacation. I have so much respect for our health care providers, they are amazing people! We were able to witness firsthand just how much work the nurses and doctors at the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC) do every day.
While my mom was in the hospital room for a week, I wanted to make her feel more at home. I brought a diffuser and we filled it each day with water and essential oils. (The nurses all commented on how lovely her room smelled.) I wanted her to be encouraged with Scripture every day, so I asked friends for their favorite uplifting verses, and I wrote them down on bright pieces of paper and taped them up on the doors and windows in the room. You can also do this with meaningful quotes and/or song lyrics. Family members sent flowers, which brightened up the room and gave my mom something beautiful to look at. We were visited by several hospital therapy dogs. At MUSC, and many other hospitals, this is a program where people volunteer to bring their trained dogs into people’s hospital rooms to bring joy to the patients. If this is something your loved one would enjoy, let the nursing staff know. That way, when the pups show up, they can be directed to the right room.
My children are 9 and 13 and I wanted them to see their grandmother while she was there and be able to comfortably visit with her throughout the week. They came along with me each day, and brought along books to read, iPads to play games on and even art supplies for drawing and coloring. My daughter drew a picture of my mom’s dog for her to hang up in the hospital room.
Hardships are called that for a reason, they are not easy! But like every trial in life, this has made us stronger as a family. My children did not fear going to the hospital, and even waited excitedly for the therapy dogs to arrive, and the nurses were so kind and wonderful. We all learned a lot through this experience. It has been a lesson for all of us in reliance, humility, compassion and in asking for help when we need it most.
As parents, we may worry about how much our children can handle when a loved one is hospitalized. My advice is to take it day by day. Your child will let you know if they are feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable in their own way. If your child has special needs, make sure they are slowly adapting to your surroundings and have something with them that brings them comfort. This is also true for younger children.
Hospitals may never become a pleasant place for those we love, and that is completely understandable. But if we know a loved one who needs to be there, we can place our focus and attention on them. We can try to make their room feel more like home to help calm their nerves and help with recovery.
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